Hi,
This is new to me. I have never written you a letter like this. Never. I never acknowledged what we have until now. And now I realize why.
I have always been ashamed of our relationship. We've been a secret. We were hidden. Secret Lovers.
No one but you and me knew that we were together. And I wanted it to keep that way. I cannot live a life if people knew we're together.
I knew we were a lie. I knew we were in darkness. But I stayed with you. For slowly, you dwelt inside my heart and my mind that you were as a necessity. I thought I needed you.
You see, we started out right. We started out as sweet lovers. I thought you were offering me love. You took advantage to the fact that the Man of the house was away. No one can protect me. You can get me.
Your sweet words and promises like water, quenching the fire burning down my throat in need of love. I thought you were offering me love. The pleasure I had with your company took me away. I was yours. I said yes to your love. I thought you were offering me love.
We started out little. We settled for the small things. Until passion took us away, and then we stepped out. We transformed into something darker. Something that needed more hiding. Now, as much as I needed you, my shame grew. But since my shame is fed by knowledge of others, there's no fear in me for we are in darkness and no one can see us.
Had I known that your purpose was to trick and deceive me, I wouldn't have reached for your hand to take that "love" I thought you were offering. YOU LIED! YOU LIED! YOU DON'T LOVE ME! There is no love in you. You cannot love!
For in the appointed time, when my Father took me home in His arms, that's when I knew that all you have been was a lie!
You stole from me. You killed me. You destroyed me. I have been dead.
Now I regret the day I met you.
So, I tried to break up with you. It was an indirect order of my Dad. He knew I was obsessed with you but also emphasized how you only break my bones. So, He gave me the mercy and grace whenever I had to secretly meet up with you during midnights when I miss you so much. He understood what we were and what we are now. So that when morning comes and I come knocking at the door asking my Dad to let me enter, He'd shout, "Darling I never lock the door." He still receives me as an undefiled daughter, always graceful, always lovely. Even if He knew where I have been. For He knew the price to pay to have me as His daughter again. He paid it already.
When I see you, when you surprise me out in the streets, you always try to scare me into thinking that I can never wash myself of the filth that we were. That my identity is tied with you and I can never change it. You make me wallow in the mud that we play on, saying morning shall never come.
But I have been tired. I want you completely out of my life. I want you to go away for good. That even if I see you in the streets, even if you are out by my window at midnight calling out my name, I won't hear you. I won't listen to you. I won't recognize you.
For my past that you keep on throwing at my face is no more. I am predestined to be with another Man and my identity shall come from Him and Him alone.
I know how intelligent you are. You know me so well that you are able to do almost anything to make me run back to you. And so, I may go out in the dark wanting to meet up with you again. But I want you to know that my heart doesn't belong to you anymore. I was given a new heart and I have given it to my Beloved. My Beloved is mine and His desire is toward me.
I decided to write to you so that I can show you how willing I am now to burn you into ashes. How I asked my Father to hunt you down and to fully destroy you. For this is the only way I can have a life and have it more abundant.
It is not me who works. It is my Father. So be afraid. For I know whom I believe and He will soon crush your head under my feet.
I will nail you and all our memories on a tree. I am a new creature now. And I never knew you.
Until then! I will see you in your prison covered in fire.
To: Addiction.
From: Victim.
This is new to me. I have never written you a letter like this. Never. I never acknowledged what we have until now. And now I realize why.
I have always been ashamed of our relationship. We've been a secret. We were hidden. Secret Lovers.
No one but you and me knew that we were together. And I wanted it to keep that way. I cannot live a life if people knew we're together.
I knew we were a lie. I knew we were in darkness. But I stayed with you. For slowly, you dwelt inside my heart and my mind that you were as a necessity. I thought I needed you.
You see, we started out right. We started out as sweet lovers. I thought you were offering me love. You took advantage to the fact that the Man of the house was away. No one can protect me. You can get me.
Your sweet words and promises like water, quenching the fire burning down my throat in need of love. I thought you were offering me love. The pleasure I had with your company took me away. I was yours. I said yes to your love. I thought you were offering me love.
We started out little. We settled for the small things. Until passion took us away, and then we stepped out. We transformed into something darker. Something that needed more hiding. Now, as much as I needed you, my shame grew. But since my shame is fed by knowledge of others, there's no fear in me for we are in darkness and no one can see us.
Had I known that your purpose was to trick and deceive me, I wouldn't have reached for your hand to take that "love" I thought you were offering. YOU LIED! YOU LIED! YOU DON'T LOVE ME! There is no love in you. You cannot love!
For in the appointed time, when my Father took me home in His arms, that's when I knew that all you have been was a lie!
You stole from me. You killed me. You destroyed me. I have been dead.
Now I regret the day I met you.
So, I tried to break up with you. It was an indirect order of my Dad. He knew I was obsessed with you but also emphasized how you only break my bones. So, He gave me the mercy and grace whenever I had to secretly meet up with you during midnights when I miss you so much. He understood what we were and what we are now. So that when morning comes and I come knocking at the door asking my Dad to let me enter, He'd shout, "Darling I never lock the door." He still receives me as an undefiled daughter, always graceful, always lovely. Even if He knew where I have been. For He knew the price to pay to have me as His daughter again. He paid it already.
When I see you, when you surprise me out in the streets, you always try to scare me into thinking that I can never wash myself of the filth that we were. That my identity is tied with you and I can never change it. You make me wallow in the mud that we play on, saying morning shall never come.
But I have been tired. I want you completely out of my life. I want you to go away for good. That even if I see you in the streets, even if you are out by my window at midnight calling out my name, I won't hear you. I won't listen to you. I won't recognize you.
For my past that you keep on throwing at my face is no more. I am predestined to be with another Man and my identity shall come from Him and Him alone.
I know how intelligent you are. You know me so well that you are able to do almost anything to make me run back to you. And so, I may go out in the dark wanting to meet up with you again. But I want you to know that my heart doesn't belong to you anymore. I was given a new heart and I have given it to my Beloved. My Beloved is mine and His desire is toward me.
I decided to write to you so that I can show you how willing I am now to burn you into ashes. How I asked my Father to hunt you down and to fully destroy you. For this is the only way I can have a life and have it more abundant.
It is not me who works. It is my Father. So be afraid. For I know whom I believe and He will soon crush your head under my feet.
I will nail you and all our memories on a tree. I am a new creature now. And I never knew you.
Until then! I will see you in your prison covered in fire.
To: Addiction.
From: Victim.
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